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BQ-97: Toots McGoots and Manzibar Kreeg

The Brazen Bulls find themselves on hellish soil, scarred from the Bleeding Citadel.

None of them are exactly as they were those many months ago when they first journeyed into hell on a whim with an otter. All of them have changed. But only one of them is hovering above the rest with angel wings. 

That would be Sfiros. 

This is a different Sfiros, one with a list of powers not seen since episode 95. 

Caeus screams.

“Do not fear me,” Sfiros says. “I am better now.”

“Cool sword, can I hold it?” Sleipnir asks.

“Nope!” Sfiros says.

“Well he is obviously greedy,” Sleipnir pouts. 

“I talked to the sword, and it was like, ‘Only people who are worthy…,’ and I can literally see your true selves, and OOH BOY you are not worthy,” Sfiros says. 

Everyone nods.

“And judgemental, apparently,” Sleipnir sulks. “He’s ‘better now.’ He’s better than us, too, listen to him.”

Sfiros sees deep down into Sleipnir’s true self. Underneath his dirty rags and smelly mask, Sleipnir is actually quite handsome. But as a minotaur, he’s small and scared. He’s very self-conscious.

“Sorry, Sleipnir,” Sfiros says. “All creatures are capable of change for the better.”

Except, perhaps, McSneakle. 

Back at Bel’s Forge, the Brazen Bulls reveal the Sword of Zariel.

“What do you plan on doing with that?” Bel asks.

“Redeeming bad guys,” Sfiros says. “You wanna be redeemed?”

“That’s adorable,” Bel laughs. 

“He thinks he’s fixed now, and he wants to fix everyone else. It’s terrible,” Caeus says.

“Look at me! I’m totally better than I was before! Look at the wings! Look at the cool outfit!” Sfiros says piously.

“That is quite impressive,” Bel says. “You are a good match for the Archduchess of Hell.”

“Do you want to come with? What are your powers?” Tallest asks.

“I am busy at the moment,” Bel replies.

“Too busy to take down the Queen of Hell?” Tallest demands.

“That is what you are here for,” Bel points out.

“Oh, ok. That’s right,” Tallest says.

“Though I won’t be going with you, I can still help you,” Bel says. “It’s good to have a standard-bearer.”

Bel pulls two items out of the pit of lava. Tallest grabs the helm of domination.

“Who is your standard-bearer?” Bel asks.

“Caeus is our PR guy,” Tallest says from underneath his new helm.

“Somebody needs to have standards around here!” Caeus says.

Bel grants a battle standard of infernal power to Caeus.

“I suggest you proceed. Your vehicles are refilled,” Bel says.

“Can I have an extra soul coin?” Tallest asks.

“What kind of soul are you looking for?” Bel asks.

“The most wholesome soul you have, the one most worthy of redemption.” Tallest glares at the pious Sfiros. “I might need to force someone to make a choice.”

Bel gives Tallest a special soul coin, inviting the rest of the Brazen Bulls to make brazen requests. They want everything from boons and wishes to magical items and spare Grubbas. They even request an extra toot on Krinjack’s barge from episode 92, but the loyal devil captain cannot be found.

They bicker for a bit about breakfast, but soon they’re on their way to finish the campaign. 

Off in the distance, the hellish chains pull Kinchasa closer to the clashing armies. Zariel’s flying fortress hovers menacingly. The sphere of damnation pulsates like a festering sore in the atmosphere. 

The Brazen Bulls fly up to Kinchasa–they can fly now, by the way–and see that Kinchasa is fucked up way worse than before. 

Ellison is shouting orders at a haggard battalion. She looks like she’s been through some shit. She sees the Brazen Bulls and shouts, “You made it back! You look different. What happened to you, Sfiros?”

“You remember Zariel? Found her sword. And look at me now!” Sfiros beams.

“You found the Sword of Zariel?!” asks Ellison, her bloodshot eyes widening.

“We found a Sword of Zariel…” Caeus clarifies.

“You’re the only one I trust to show it to,” Sfiros says. “Check it out! Look what I got!”

“You have the sword! Now we can save Kinchasa!” Ellison points up to the black star.

“Oh? Didn’t we have the thing to control that?” Caeus asks. “Bel has it, right?”

“Yeah,” Tallest says. “We gave that to the devil.”

“Well, a devil,” Caeus clarifies again.

Gideon and Moonion are also there.

Tallest, apropos of nothing, stabs the special soul coin with his hellfire javelin, freeing a soul that smells of citrus, etc., indicating Dragonbait from Season 1, but they don’t know that. 

The soul jolts toward the black star, leaving a blast of woodsmoke smell in its wake. No one speaks smells, so they Brazen Bulls assume the soul farted on them.

Speaking of toots, Krinjack–the missing loyal captain– is actually a bone devil! Krinjack attacks the Brazen Bulls with Manzibar Kreeg, who is also a devil. And also here, and also attacking!

Zanzibar Kreeg casts feeblemind on Sleipnir of all people. 

Tallest dominates Krimmjack with a toot so perfectly in tune with Krinjack’s toots that the bone devil cannot but obey.

“You can be a bone devil, but be a bone devil on our side,” Caeus says.

Krimmjack switches sides, and they all fight the vicious, evil, malevolent, terrible, putrid devil Manzibar Kreeg.

The former Manzibar is fallen, defeated, and about to get away, when Sleipnir drools on him for 1 acid damage, vanquishing him forever.

Krimmjack toots gleefully.

Zarial’s flying fortress looms ahead, ending this week’s weekly episode that we have each and every week.

See you next week!

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