The adventurers appear in Grandfather Zitembe’s closet, stacked on top of each other to the point where the door begins to buckle. Chumbawumba reaches up and pushes the door open, causing everyone to tumble out and flop onto the floor.
They’re out of the jungle! They’re back in civilization! It’s been so damned long!
But Grandfather Zitembe is nowhere to be seen in his bedroom—
DANGER! DANGER! ALERT! PANIC! Something must be about to kill them! Something’s been about to kill them for like the last 25 sessions, so there’s no use letting their guard down now.
"Someone shapeshift into something else and scout out the area," Valour gives the command.
"Or use their owl," Dur-Dur-Dur says, volunteering Zanzibar and his 10 gp.
"I use my owl," Zanzibar says, producing his owl, which he decides to promptly change it into a seagull instead. "A seagull!"
The seagull hops around as seagulls do, wisps of smoke billowing from its beat as it starts poking its head outside the bedroom and into the main worship center for the Temple of Savras. A crowd has gathered, but they’re not in a panic. They’re dressed for mourning—and Grandfather Zitembe is nowhere to be seen among the Savras acolytes.
The last time the party saw the Port Nyanzaru citizens acting this way was when Merchant Prince Jessamine died… which was also when the party returned from an adventure. Maybe if they just stay in Port Nyanzaru, the civic leaders will stop dying?
Zanzibar then examines Grandfather Zitembe’s bedroom, noticing several empty bottles of tej—the man has been drinking a lot.
Speaking of drunk personalities, Dur-Dur-Dur summons his spirit bear again. It manifests under the covers of Grandfather Zitembe's bed and rumbles out a greeting. "Hi there, Dur-Dur-Dur!"
"Hello spirit bear. It's been a long time!" Dur-Dur-Dur says. "So if you've got a minute, will you tell me where Grandfather Zitembe is?"
The bear sniffs around, then shouts, "AT GOLDENTHRONE!"
"Is everything all right in town, or has there been any kind of bad things happening?" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
The bear stares at him. "Well from what I've heard, it sounds like the merchant princes are in a bit of a finnicky situation! Some of them area dead! I gotta go now,” the bear says, then poofs away into the astral couch within Dur-Dur-Dur’s astral brain.
"... I wonder how they're going to feel about their new king!" Dur-Dur-Dur ponders.
Valour summons Quest. In the bedroom.
Zanzibar digs out some of Grandfather Zitembe's gloves and slides them on.
"Is that what they call stealing in Kinchasa?" Valour says,
"I will thank him for it and pay him back in kind!" Zanzibar says.
He doesn’t do any of this.
"Why?" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"I'm wearing the Ring of Winter," Zanzibar says.
"DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!" 🌱 says.
"If important people are dying, then it's important I'm wearing it," Zanzibar says, exercising his right to bear fingers. "And if you're carrying around any of those priceless artifacts, I suggest you hide them."
"And I need some diamond dust," 🌱 says. "There's a jewel market."
They leave the Temple of Savras and notice that the people of Port Nyanzaru appear worried. The typical fanfare of the bustling market is deflated—worry fills people’s eyes, and businesses seem torn between bearing a condolent atmosphere or hawking their wears with the gusto of a pre Death Curse world.
Maybe it’s because of the zombies and tied up yuan-ti the party is dragging behind them.
They arrive at the jewel market and begin rolling out their looted items, drawing hurried attention from the vendors who flock to see what prizes are in store. 🌱 buys 1000 gp worth of diamond dust, and the PC’s sell their cockroach brooch, dao cords, and other gemstones for tons of cash. 🌱 buys an agate as well. A crowd gathers and whispers, watching the exchange.
The party questions 🌱 why he’s buying the agates.
"I want an army... one being at a time," 🌱 says, holding up an agate and ready to cast awaken. "Like I'll awaken one of these phylacteries!"
"That's a terrible idea!" Zanzibar says. "... And I think you can only use that on plants and animals."
🌱 shrugs, then casts greater restoration on himself, un-goating himself and returning back to whatever normal actually is for him.
"Congrats bro!" Zanzibar says.
"Thank you! I feel much better," 🌱 says.
The party then sets off to Goldenthrone to meet Grandfather Zitembe and any other Merchant Princes who would be there with him.
A guard steps up to them and speaks, "state your business!"
"I am King Dur-Dur-Dur here to see the princes and princesses of this town!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"... Aren't you the one who has the bar?" the guard says.
"... We ended the death curse!" Valour shouts.
"Yes, it's very important that we come in!" Zanzibar says, done with talking to these once-high-level-NPC’s-that-are-now-pushovers-maybe.
Grandfather Zitembe then runs out and motions for the guards to step aside and let the party in.
They step inside Goldenthrone, seeing five of the Merchant Princes standing around: Wakanga, Ekene-Afa, Zhanthi, Jobal, and little Ymezra. Shenice is standing in there with them as well, surprising the PC’s. A bodyguard decked out in vibrant, ceremonial gear stands next to Ekene-Afa.
"Shenice, what are you doing here? You are supposed to be in the bar!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"Oh... hello!" Shenice says.
"I see you've got some jewelry,” Dur-Dur-Dur says. “I also found some bling! I am the King of Omu!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
He isn’t.
"And he's friends with a dwarf," Valour says, standing proud.
"We're still working on that," Dur-Dur-Dur says.
Wakanga silences them, then approaches the party and speaks, "Is it true then? About Ifan Talro'a?"
Zanzibar confirms the news to him gently, "HO! YEAH! He's big dead!"
"How did it happen?" Wakanga says.
"We tried to bring him back as a zombie..." 🌱 begins.
"So I don't know if you guys have been to Omu lately,” Zanzibar interrupts. “But it is in-fested with yuan-ti. We killed their first leader. We killed their second leader, and Ifan Talro’a was hanging out with her.”
"And now his daddy is a yuan-ti!" 🌱 says, pointing to Dur-Dur-Dur.
“HISS!!!” Dur-Dur says.
"It is true then,” Wakanga says, shaking his head. “I had my doubts about Ifan Talro'a, and it turns out my suspicions were correct. But you say the Death Curse… it is done?"
"Oh yeah!" Zanzibar says. "We did that by the way, so if you're showering riches upon everyone—now's the time."
Wakanga chuckles, "Do not worry. You will be handsomely rewarded for your trouble. After the recent events, we could use some local heroes to sing songs about; to build statues for; to tell our youngsters to emulate. Events here took a very drastic turn..."
"Things weren't great for us!" Valour says.
"You definitely had some issues!" Wakanga agrees. "Dearest Zanzibar..."
"Yes, my friend," Zanzabar says.
"You certainly do resemble your brother Pemba," Wakanga says.
"OH YOU’VE MET?” Zanzibar shouts.
"Yes, your brother. He is still here, no doubt carousing in his own way. We began to have some suspicions about our seats of rule. As you can see, Kwaothé's seat is empty. We believed it had been empty far longer than when our suspicions began."
"Doppelgangers? We've seen some doppelgangers!" Zanzibar suggests.
"Not doppelgangers,” Wakanga says. “Incubi and succubi."
Valour stomps around the room and rants, "Does no one use divine sense!?" He then casts divine sense. "Look it's this easy!"
"Well not all of us have been blessed the way that you are. But..." Wakanga turns to Ymezra. "It was Ymezra who we decided should see about solving our quest for the missing Kwaothé."
Ymezra hops up to the party. "Hey!" she says, waving.
Zanzibar stares at her closely. "Oh... by the way I think I'm your uncle!" he says.
Ymezra runs up to him and hugs him. Zanzibar smiles.
"After father told me who you were, I was hoping you would figure it out!" Ymezra tells him.
"Yeah, we were like neck deep in jungle plants and I was like SHIT she looks a lot like me!" Zanzibar says.
Ymezra laughs. "We had a feeling that Kwaothé wasnt Kwaothé. Instead, she had been killed already by her two paramours. Turns out, they weren't actually Chultan humans—they were an incubus and succubus! So I knew exactly who to call to take out these fiends: my estranged father! Dad had some great friends who helped out, and we put a plan together. We noticed Kwaothé was acting strange when one: a paramour of hers disappeared. And two: she started wearing this!"
Ymezra reaches into a chest and pulls out the cursed Crown of Influence that McSneakle stole from the bullywug king at the beginning of this adventure.
"I know that!” Zanzibar says. “She totally took that from our workplace proximity associate!"
"You know what this is?" Ymezra says.
"That thing sucks!" Zanzibar says.
"Yes, we have analyzed it and realize that it is a cursed artifact,” Ymezra says. “Our assumption is that one of Kwaothé’s paramours put it on, and then began scheming while under the influence of the curse, putting plans of usurpation into motion, and then killing of Kwaothé and shapeshfting into her. It was not the easiest of tasks to depose her... but father is a professional!"
"Good job!" 🌱 says. "Who is in charge of what Kwaothé did before?"
"The titles of Merchant Prince usually fall to wealth and skill in a particular trade. Seeing that Kwaothé was the Merchant Prince of many luxuries like wine, tej, incense, perfumes, spices. We then had to do an audit and find out who is the most wealthy in these area..." Ymezra then looks to Shenice.
Everyone gasps.
"Shenice!” Dur-Dur-Dur says. “You held my spot! As my first act as crown prince, I enact you to take care of the main work. I get the big picture though!"
"I told you I didn't need any help!" Shenice says. “I always tell you I don’t need any help!”
"However...” Wakanga interrupts. “There is an open Merchant Prince position available: the overseer of beasts and beast training."
"I'll take that!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"You're good at beast training?" Zanzibar says.
"My daddy's a beast!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
“HISS!” Dur-Dur says.
"We will have to do an audit of net worth," Wakanga says.
"I own all of Omu," Dur-Dur-Dur says.
Dur-Dur-Dur shows off the Chalice of Ch’kagare. He then puts down the music box and puffs on his bubble pipe. "Who else but a king would have this stuff?"
Let’s see!
The chalice: found from a ghost
The pipe: found from a level one Chultan merchant.
The music box: found from a fiend
"I recommend you just say ‘yes’ while you're here!" Chumbawumba says.
"Well then as the King of Omu, your throne is in Omu," Wakanga says.
"Hey Shenice,” Valour says. “How much money did Dur-Dur-Dur make while he was gone?"
"He made quite a bit, but the tipping culture... Huuuuge!" Shenice says, smiling.
"You know what, my bar is now sovereign ground of Omu—so it is not sovereign to taxations and regulations of Chult! So I'm going to need my taxes back,” Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"So what was left of Omu?" Wakanga says.
And that’s when he fucked up.
"Are you asking the king?” Dur-Dur-Dur says. “Okay I'll tell you! My daddy's a snake over there. They kept turning people into snakes— you're a snake, you're a snake, you’re a snake! I just started killing snakes! Zanzibar started crying. Anyways, um, so we went down there and started hacking up snakes. They started bringing this demon god back up, but we froze it in his blood. Everyone started cheering and said 'we want you to be the Merchant Prince in Chult!' And we stopped the Death Curse and we went through the tomb. It was pretty crazy. I threw a librarian into a lava pit, but he was a fox. Zanzibar here was like 'I want to check out a book' but he said 'no books leave the library' and he got mad at me so 🌱 over here turned him into a weasel so we turned him back into a weasel and threw him back into the lava pit. Then we killed this gigantic maybe god thing that was growing in a fetus thing sucking up all the souls and Valour here got finger shot to death by a lich but he was no match for me of course because of my muscles. He's got a little dwarfism now. That's why his pony is smaller."
"Hmm, understood," Wakanga says.
"There's no way that was understood!" Zanzibar says.
Grandfather Zitembe shits Zanzibar up with a telepathic thought, <Don't do anything to make him speak further!>
"Is there any way that you can give us a token to show what we've done?" Valour says.
"Soon we will,” Wakanga says. “We will make a grand announcement to the populace here stating your deeds and honors! And we will also include tokens of esteem for you all to have with you for what you have done. Now what is this about the yuan-ti back there?"
“HISS!” Dur-Dur says.
"That's my daddy,” Dur-Dur-Dur says. “He got a little bit of an ailment that can only be cured by a wish spell, so I wish that someone could have a wish spell that I can borrow!"
"Or, they turned his dad into a snake... you got an anti-snake down here?" 🌱 says.
"Nobody here knows a wish spell, but we will do everything to scour the lands for someone who can use such a powerful arcane word for your father. Our expenses!" Wakanga guarantees.
"That sounds good!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"Hiss!" Dur-Dur says.
"Do any of you guys sell... phylacteries?" 🌱 says. "You guys know the phylactery market?"
"What do you know of phylacteries?" Wakanga says.
“We just heard a rumor—what would we do with them?" 🌱 says.
"We could have them destroyed! We could definitely have them destroyed!" Wakanda says, leering at them.
"It sounds like this beastmaster prince position is about to be filled!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"... We will have to think on it," Wakanga says.
"Where is that Dendar crown?" 🌱 says.
"Plan ™️ O. Gee!” Zanzibar shouts, using 🌱’s full name to show how serious he is. “I think you would do well to think your thoughts, not speak them!"
"Right, I will be silent... like a plant..." 🌱 says.
"Oh we would also like a lift of the ban on our friend, the weretiger!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"OH! Speaking of weretigers. We met another one," Zanzibar says, and he winks at Wakanga.
"Really? That is quite interesting,” Wakanga mutters. “I thought they would be rarer than just bumping into them all the time. We will remove your friend’s bounty and ensure she is always welcome back here."
"Where's Stevorn!?" Valour shouts.
"Yeah, and we want Stevorn back!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"You can take Chumbawuma, and we can take Stevorn!" Valour shouts, shoving Chumbawumba forward. "He's a treasure goblin!"
And that’s when Chumbawumba began to scream… very… loudly.
"You muthaFUCKAS!” Chumbawumba shouts. “I spend days shielding your asses, and now you're like 'take the fuckin' goblin!' You know what? I'm gonna take all my enchantments that I gave you, and I'm gone! FUCK you!” he shouts at Dur-Dur-Dur. “FUCK you!” he shouts at Zanzibar. “FUCK you!” he shouts at 🌱. “I'm GLAD you died for a little bit!" he shouts at Valour, then dumps all the loot from his bag of holding. "You guys can all sort through that! Good luck sorting through all that! I'm the last of the Yellow Banner. Fuck y'all!" he finishes, then storms out of Goldenthrone and disappears into the crowd.
"I'm going to need the Yellow Banner banned from Port Nyanzaru!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"Chumbawumba come back! We didn't mean it!" Valour says.
"Fuck you!" Chumbawumba says.
"I'm sorry, The Yellow Banner, come back! We'll call you by the nickname!" Valour says.
Chumbawumba stops in the crowd and turns around. "Y'all really want me back?"
"Eh..." Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"NO FUCK YOU!" Chumbawumba says and leaves. "I'm gonna go get something to eat! I keep asking for rations and y'all just keep giving me fungus!"
Everyone waits for him to disappear before going back to their conversation with the Merchant Princes.
"So what have we not talked about that you think we should talk about?" 🌱 says.
"Well... we will definitely plan a celebration in your honor!” Wakanga says. “And a crowning of the new Merchant Prince. Ifan Talro'a had no family, so there’s nobody to inherit his rule as was the situation with Jessamine."
The party agrees on all of this, then they head to the Lady's Vengeance to check on all of that Soren juice they had brewing. After all these days, there’s seven whole jars worth of sweet, Soren goodness! It’s damn near overflowed, so 🌱 has to bottle it quickly.
"Let's infuse these things with some dreaming agaru," Valour says. "I also have this heartwood limb from the dreaming agaru plant thing so you can use this to craft a spoon for stirring the Soren juice."
Valour gives all that stuff to 🌱 who uses up one of the dreaming agaru bits to infuse a Soren juice. He throws back the drink and quaffs it.
"Let's all do it!" Zanzibar shouts.
Everyone cheers and downs a Soren juice, feeling the wild magical buzz coursing within them. They then decide to GET MORE DRUNK and head down to the Thundering Lizard Inn.
When they get there, 🌱 sees the Gulthias tree growing outside that he planted. He runs up to it and hugs it, then licks it.
Valour looks to Dur-Dur-Dur. "If Shenice is going to be a Merchant Prince, who is going to run your bar?"
"Shenice is!" Dur-Dur-Dur says, kicking open the door to the bar and seeing that nobody is inside. "Shenice! This place has gone to crap!"
Dur-Dur-Dur then goes into the back and finds his safe, which has 8800 gp in it! That girl has been busy since they were out in the wilderness!
The adventurers then pour some drinks, down them, then reopen the bar. Little by little, patrons saunter in and hear the tales from the adventurers about their trek through the Chultan jungle. Speaking of patrons and adventurers…
"Goddammit I need a drink!” Chumbawumba says, standing in front of the Thundering Lizard Inn. “I don't like the name of this place. It reminds me of that dumb fuck," he adds, then kicks the door open and steps inside.
Dur-Dur-Dur dons a mustache disguise and runs up to Chumbawumba. "Hello sir!"
"Where did you get that name?" Chumbawumba says, pointing at the sign outside. "This is going to sound dumb, but what is the least slimy drink you have?"
"The fungus supreme!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"NO!" Chumbawumba says.
Valour comes up to him with a Soren juice. "Here, drink this!"
"What are you doing here?" Chumbawumba screams.
"This is where Dur-Dur-Dur lives!" Valour says.
Dur-Dur-Dur rips the mustache off. "It was me!"
Chumbawumba just accepts the fact that this is his life now, and he drinks the potion.
Everyone gets a round of drinks as Dur-Dur-Dur cooks up his famous breakfast platter, leaving the door open so the smell wafts out into the street and attracts more people. Everyone gets a giant dinosaur egg with piles of meat. It’s the first legitimate meal they’ve had in a legitimate place in what feels like six months.
But they made it back.
And they’re really heroes now.
Chumbawumba decides to cast detect magic on the cup of his weird drink after getting a little suspicious, and a wild magic surge triggers—turning his gun into an indestructible replica. He swings it around, baffled that it feels like a plastic toy.
“What the fuck did you guys slip into my drink!” Chumbawumba shouts.
“We could ask the bear what happened!” Dur-Dur-Dur says.
Nobody is down for that.
Valour casts dispel magic on the gun, hoping to change it back to normal. Instead he triggers a wild magic surge that causes all undead nearby to run away from him in fear, so 🌱’s zombies run like hell out into the streets.
“Uh…” Valour says.
Zanzibar offers to identify Chumbawumba’s weapon to see what’s wrong with it, proving that it is, in fact, destructible. But also the wild magic kicks off and sequences his genetics—Zanzibar now has orc blood flowing through his veins! He knows this because the Ring of Winter whispers it too him.
He’s not happy at this.
Dur-Dur-Dur summons his spirit bear to see what the deal is, causing another wild magic surge that causes his head to be clear like glass for two weeks. His brain isn’t clear, but it’s still impossible to see due to its size.
"Someone draw a face on him!" Valour shouts.
"That proves that there's nothing in that head!" Chumbawumba says.
🌱 takes out some money and gives it do Zanzibar. "Dammit..." he says.
🌱 then goes outside and casts awaken on the Gulthias tree he planted so many weeks ago. If everyone else is getting wild magic surges, then so is he dammit! AND he now can have a talking magic tree!
"Ah this is a very strange feeling..." the Gulthias tree mumbles, coming to life and moving around in his pot.
"Hey tree!" 🌱 says.
"You can call me Gulthias!" the tree says.
But the wild magic surge kicks off, and to everyone’s horror, the target of 🌱’s spell inspires dread in all members of the opposite sex… meaning his tree is now a fuckboi himbo who catcalls all women it sees nearby.
This may be worse than creating the Soulmonger!
With all of their wild magic having been surged, the PC’s crash in the Thundering Lizard Inn, dozing off after their return to modern civilization.
They wake up the next day and sell all the shit they don’t need anymore, raking in even more monetary rewards. They have enough to basically never work again if they want to… not that any of them have worked before. The days go by, and people begin to learn of the PC’s great deeds. Many recognize them on the street, and everyone is eager for the upcoming ceremony of heroism as well as the crowning of the new Merchant Prince!
Zanzibar uses this time to seek out his brother Pemba, who has been staying with Ymezra over at her mansion. He steps inside, and sure enough, his older brother is standing there with a smile splayed across his face!
"My deer young brother! Look how much you aged!" Pemba says, jeering at Zanzibar’s unfortunate aging accident.
"Oh yes! I've had a terrible encounter with a ghost! And a dragon! And a t-rex! And another t-rex!” Zanzibar lists terrible things for about five minutes, Dur-Dur-Dur’s name appearing frequently. “So how did you get here?"
Pemba chuckles, "I heard, little candle, that my dearest Jessamine had passed away. I wanted to pay my respects."
"I did not know you were in the business of birthing people!" Zanzibar says.
"Yes, turns out the oldest candles burn the hurtest!" Pemba says.
"Hah! That's right!” Zanzibar says.
What does that even mean!?
“Hey have you seen father?” Zanzibar says. “We left like a little dragon man with him and we think he might be pure evil!"
"Father is fine of course,” Pemba says, then chuckles. “The little dragon man? Why don't you ask him yourself!”
At that, Meepo and Elisin come barreling out from behind a curtain! Meepo is dressed like a mighty warrior, and Elisin is wearing her uniform for the Kinchasa city watch.
"Meepo! You are full of stars! Look at you!" Zanzibar says.
"Oh wow Mr. Zanzibar um... you've changed" Elisin says. "I've gotten older too, not that old but..."
"No most people only aged a couple of months in the last couple of months,” Zanzibar says. “I have aged a lot! I tell you I was eaten by a tyrannosaurus! And that wasn't in the top five of the things that happened to me. How has being a child soldier been for you?"
Elisin and Meepo both talk about how they’ve been training with Captain Odah and Pemba, learning ways to root out evil and prevent the bands of chaos from getting ahold of Kinchasa.
"Yeah how is Kinchasa?" Valour says—oh he's here now?
"Oh it's fine! They're refitting the Temple of Guja," Ellison says.
"I have an idea of what we could do with that temple," Valour says.
Elison runs up and hugs hm. Then looks at his dwarfiness closely. "You changed too!"
"Does this mean Tiamat is getting all of her souls back too!?" Meepo says.
"Uh...” Valour says. “That's what it means... order has been restored."
"Cool! Maybe I'll see her one day!" Meepo says.
Valour may have some more work to do with that one…
Throughout the week, there is a huge shopping montage as the PC’s get ready for their heroic celebration! Zanzibar is wearing the finest wizard robes for himself with his hair neated up, looking more like a basketball playing genie than a regular old man.
Valour dons exquisite linen clothes, ornate in their grandeur. The center of the robes has the scales of Tyr, and stretching out from that over the robes is a rainbow snake pattern for Pretzelcoatl. Unity prevails! Oh and also he has a cane and a fancy hat. Quest also has barding and fancy hat.
Dur-Dur-Dur obtains fine furs from fancy animals and a monocle. His bubbly bubbles nonstop, and he hires some poor sot to carry around his music box to play as he walks and simultaneously holding the tail of his coat. Ifan Talro’a’s boots still adorn his feet.
🌱 both fucks around and finds out by rocking his robe of scintillating colors, black dragon cape, and white dragon armor! He dresses up his zombies so they look fancy, and he tosses down his staff of the python so that there’s a big ass boa constrictor in his posse as well. Gulthias is dressed with shelf mushrooms, and then and 🌱 uses conjure woodland beings to make him fly above all his creatures with lots of possums in there as well. Shit’s crazy! He’s conjuring eagles, allosaurus, wasps, pixies, and dancing lights. And he's a symbiote as well!
Chumbawumba keeps it simple with a purple pimp hat with feather. He has a new gun that he uses as a cane, and a mishmash of his homunculus parts floating beside him. For the first time in many months, he is happy as hell.
The ceremony begins!
The Merchant Princes hold the ceremony near the docks, the six current Merchant Princes gathering at the Chultan king’s statue in the center of the harbor. Confetti, music, cheer, and celebratory banners don all of Port Nyanzaru’s houses. From atop the lighthouse, Zindar the gold dragonborn wharfmaster uses his arcane skills to control the weather, keeping the bright sun beaming down.
The Lady’s Vengeance, adorned with garland, streamers, feathers, and paint, leaves the docks and sails around the harbor, 🌱 and Zanzibar flying around the masts. Zanzibar casts minor illusion to create a visible head to replace Dur-Dur-Dur’s since it’s invisible—and Zanzibar has a smile splayed across his face!
Zindar uses his magic to amplify the Merchant Princes’ voices on the statue, and Wakanga begins to speak, "Citizens of Port Nyanzaru. Residents of Chult. And well, to be honest, most everyone in the realm. We must thank these brave heroes! There has been a great evil vanquished that was once lurking in our nation like a festering sore—"
"Um it wasn't vanquished. It was driven back,” Valour tries shouting over the crowd.
"SHUT UP VALOUR SHUT UP!" Zanzibar shouts at him.
Wakanga continues, not hearing him, "—like a festering sore, it was lanced from this world. The Death Curse is no more!"
Everyone erupts with more applause as Wakanga makes the announcement.
Wakanga continues, "These brave adventurers set off into the depths of Chult, exploring horrors and uncharted territory that have been stuck from all maps, and fighting off the terrible undead forces of Ras Nsi—”
"We killed him too. I killed him too!" Valour shouts.
"—Diving through the Tomb of the Nine gods,” Wakanga continues. “And vanquishing the spawn of the dead chaos god, Guga, who threatened to manifest and annihilate much of this land—our land. Without them, we would not be here. Without them, we would be living in a devastated world. Without them, we would have no heroes."
Zindar works his magic off to the side, and the great statue of the Chultan king begins to change. The stonework shifts, transforming from one unknown king of Chult into the five heroes—it looks totally badass and everyone screams in approval.
"In addition,” Wakanga says. “We now welcome our new merchant prince of tej, ale, and all that shit Kwaothé did. Shenice!"
Everyone cheers as Shenice bows. She is well known by the populace, almost everyone knowing that she alone kept the Thundering Lizard Inn in working order while its owner was off saving the world and pretending to be a king.
Wakanga continues, "After careful consideration, we have gathered together to greatly think on how to replace Ifan Talro’a. We audited the wealth and listened to those who came forth to challenge the position. After many claims, we reali zed nobody else in Port Nyanzaru could compete with the motion that arrived. Please welcome the newest Merchant Prince of beasts and the bay: AREMAG! THE KEEPER OF THE BAY OF CHULT!"
TESTUDO GRAECA!
TESTUDO GRAECA!
BESTIA EX MARI!
BESTIA EX MARI!
TESTUDO GRAECA!
AREMAG!
With that, the water lurches as the massive dragon turtle roars up from the depths, gleaming in the sea mist and roaring a triumphant call.
“Yeah he would have the most money…” Dur-Dur-Dur mumbles.
"How's he going to get to the meetings!?" Zanzibar says.
"We will find a way!" Wakanga shouts. "In addition, each of these heroes will have a Merchant Prince villa in our domain. Housing, lodging—they shall never worry about this in Port Nyanzaru ever again. We have also allotted these marks of rank,” he says, producing five golden pendants with triceratops designs. “These are the medals of the Ytepka, and they grant the esteem of Port Nyanzaru everywhere they go. In addition, they will receive a yearly stipend of 1500 gold pieces for any expenses they may need in addition to those already compensated by us.” He turns to the heroes. “You will always have a seat in Port Nyanzaru.”
Zindar then cranks up the mood lighting and sound effects, preparing the crowd for Wakanga’s final, grand announcement.
“We shall also start a new age for Port Nyanzaru. Merchant Prince Jobal will re-adjudicate the guides and form search parties out to reclaim the lost lands—to take back what was destroyed by Ras Nsi. The dead no longer rule the jungle, and the jungle will belong to Chult's people again!"
A rainbow spreads across the sky as the heroes jump up and down with joy. Bands kick into overdrive with their music, tej and ale is poured to all, and celebrations throng the street as people feast and make their merriment. The party pulls their boat up to the docks, and they disembark to all of their adoring fans, showing off the Ytepka medals.
While signing autographs and being really freaking famous, they bump into a familiar face!
"Heroes! I knew you’d be such!" Azaka says, running up to them. She grabs 🌱, who wildshapes into a tiger so she can pet him.
Chumbawumba has no goddamned clue who this woman is.
The party gathers around their loving guide, who congratulates them all! She has a gleam in her eye—like she has a secret she’s bursting to let out.
"So...” Azaka begins. “Chult is going to change. And I don't think these fancy folk know exactly what they're in for.” She eyes the Merchant Princes. “Someone who knows the jungle truly has seen these changes your actions have caused much closely."
"I think you'll be in high demand as a guide,” Zanzibar says.
Azaka chuckles, then whispers so that nobody else can overhear. “If ever you feel like being heroes again, let's just say that the ruins of Mezro aren't so ruined anymore."
They celebrate, these heroes of the realm. Evil is stifled, and life prevails.
Yet there are grudges upon grudges still brewing in the jungle...