< Episode List >
Wow, that Belchorzh fellow was such a pervy asshole—which believe me, that’s the worst kind of asshole. But he’s dead now.
And so is Artus Cimber.
And so is Armand.
And so is 🌱.
Wait! It turns out that 🌱 isn’t dead! The Dungeon Master fucked up last game because, rules as written (WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY TO RUN THIS!) beholders are not allowed to use the same kind of eye ray repeatedly on their turns. Since the beholder used a death ray to kill Armand, it couldn’t have used one to kill 🌱, so I had the player reroll, ending up with a telekinetic ray.
🌱 is alive! He’s not dead!
So what about all of that harrowing content at the end of the previous episode, with the foreshadowing that 🌱 was taking over Belchorzh’s (say that word out loud) fungus?
Eh, didn’t happen.
Figment! And I’m too lazy to rewrite it, so you just get this disclaimer. There is no secret volcano druid in the Tomb of the Nine Gods! There isn’t! Unless 🌱 dies again somehow, but how likely is that to happen? He isn’t Zanzibar!
🌱 stands up, not dead, and loots the beholder bits, then cuts off Artus Cimber's ring finger. Nobody has really looked into 🌱’s bag of stuff, but holy shit it’s gotta be a satchel of nightmares. He checks out the beholder eyes, but the blindness spell roughed them up quite a bit. The eyeballs for fear, telekinesis, and death are all good, so he pockets them. Not satisfied with his beholder eyes and the ring finger of the immortal who carried the infamous Ring of Winter, he grabs the Mace of Terror and smashes Armand’s dead face like a pumpkin, collecting his vampire teeth, and putting the Mace of Terror back down.
"All right, I found a bunch of loot here. What did you find? Anyone find any masks?" 🌱 says.
"YES!" says everyone.
They give 🌱 a stack of golden children masks in the shape of a monkey, bat, and parrot.
"They're metal, you can't wear them!" Zanzibar says, looking at 🌱’s character sheet.
"Is gold a metal?" 🌱 says.
Chumbawumba walks into the beholder room and sees a dead beholder as well as his new colleagues covered in blood and possibly dead.
"WHAT IN TARNATION!? I was gone for five minutes!" Chumbawumba shouts.
"You took a long time poopin’!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"... Don't look in Tubthumpin," Chumbawumba says.
"Our treasure was in there!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"Sometimes you gotta—"
"You pooped in our treasure container!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts.
"That's McSneakle stuff!" Valour says.
"Who is McSneakle?" Dur-Dur-Dur says in a panic, then glares at the goblin. "There is a giant hole you could poop down!"
"But then something could snatch my bootyhole!" Chumbawumba says, then sees Artus Cimber’s corpse. "Oh shit... the skii boy. He dead!"
"You don't even notice our vampire friend over here?" Dur-Dur-Dur says, aghast at Chumbawumba's dismissiveness over their friend who had his corpsey face smashed to bits by another friend.
They loot the area, finding the following treasure in Belchorzh’s alcoves:
12,000 cp, 5,000 sp, and 2,200 gp
A clay chameleon statuette covered in crystal beads that change colors (25 gp)
Three painted gold masks sized for children and shaped like the faces of a bat, a monkey, and a parrot, respectively (75 gp each)
A gold coronet shaped like an octopus with mother-of-pearl eyes (2,500 gp)
A potion of diminuation, a bead of force, and a bronze +1 shield shaped like a screaming demon’s face.
"This place is terrible," Valour says.
Dragonbait lets out some sad smells over Artus Cimber's death.
🌱 collects some of Belchorzh’s fungus since it no longer is shooting lasers at him. He collects around 10 pounds of it. Dur-Dur-Dur tries to chop off the beholder for meat, but it's just full of goopy soupy stuff.
"Do you want some rations?" 🌱 asks Dur-Dur-Dur.
"Yes!" the orc says.
They give Dur-Dur-Dur some food while Chumbawumba watches.
"Listen we know the fungus won't kill you, goblin, but it might kill us! Just eat it!" Valour says.
"He was a grown person before he ate it!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"You know how eating your greens makes you stronger?” Valour says. “Maybe you get weaker if you eat your purples!"
Zanzibar examines the iron sphere, finding no more traces of magic in it. It's just a sphere now. They check the room for secret doors, snooping like detectives, examining all of the different alcoves.
They find nothing.
"So why did we come in here?" Zanzibar says.
"Because those eyes led to this door," 🌱 says. "Wait so why was this guy locked up?"
"Look at him, he was dangerous as hell!" Valour says, pointing at the beholder.
"Is he dangerous to everyone in the dungeon?" 🌱 says.
"His first interaction with us was death ray," Valour says.
Tubthumpin and Dragonbait lead the way back to the stairwell. The party debates whether to keep exploring the floor or go down to the fourth floor. They decide to return to the room where the two tomb guardians connected by the chain were stationed.
The owl goes forth through the hallway and sees a bouncing skeleton guy who runs out of another hallway and dashes through a nearby door.
"The skeleton is running away!" Zanzibar says!
"It's not going anywhere..." Dur-Dur-Dur says, then shouts, “Let's go kill it!”
The party dashes through the door and is immediately greeted by a curtain that stretches across the whole room. The curtain is embroidered with a scene of merriment: nobles feasting around a banquet table, a roast boar on a platter, and servants pouring wine. On the floor is a plaque with a weird poem titled The Slaves’ Prophecy that reads:
These stories given to us all
Are filled with sacrifice and robes of lust
Dissonant choirs and downcast eyes
Selfhood of a condescending ape
Behold the crown of a heavenly spy
Forged in blood of those who defy
Kiss the ring, praise and sing
He loves you dwelling in fear and sin
Fear is a choice you embrace
“Fear is a choice you embrace,” Valour says, mockingly.
“Fear is a choice you embrace!” Zanzibar says, also mockingly.
Everyone just starts repeating “Fear is a choice you embrace,” with the inflection that they are a MySpace edgy teen trying to scrawl a phrase on their skateboards.
Zanzibar casts detect magic in the room, then feels some enchantment magic about thirty feet to the west, past the curtain.
"Is anyone good at not getting charmed? Enchanted? Valour?" Zanzibar says.
"Mmmm... I guess so," Valour says.
"I'm not saying you have to go first, but it's enchantment magic,” Zanzibar says.
"Tubthumpin! Come here!" Valour says. "We have a pot. A living, flying pot! We can throw it through this curtain!"
Tubthumpin pushes the curtain aside, revealing another curtain! This curtain shows the same scene as the first one, but descended into depravity. The nobles fight with each other, partake in carnal encounters on the table, or sprawl on the floor in puddles of vomit. Another poem is scribbled on the floor, this one titled The Nobles’ Prophecy:
Pick your author from à la carte fantasy
Filled with suffering and slavery
You live only for the days to come
Shoveling trash of the upper caste
Smiling mouth in a rotting head
Sucking dry the teat of the scared
A storytelling breed we are
A starving crew with show-off toys
Fear is a choice you embrace
"This is some nerd bullshit, move!" Valour says says, pushing the next curtain aside, which reveals a third damned curtain, but this one is embroidered with a scene of horror: nobles feasting on servants, eating each other alive, and setting fire to the hall. The roast boar is alive and laughing on its platter.
They all instantly have to make a fear saving throw, which they succeed.
"FEAR IS A CHOICE!" Valour shouts.
A third poem is scrawled on the floor, this one titled as The Dead’s Prophecy:
From words into war of the worlds
This one we forsake with scorn
From lies, the strength of our love
Mother's milk laced with poison for this newborn
Wake up child, I have a story to tell
Once upon a time
Your only truth
Witchcraft filling your void
Lust for fantasy
Every child worthy of a better tale
Fear is a choice you embrace.
They pull curtain aside, revealing the wall. A rotting head of a giant boar is mounted to it, with fresh blood and gore spattering its tusks and dribbling down the wall beneath it.
"This feels scary as shit. It's internet bullshit!" Valour shouts.
The skeleton is huddled in a corner near the boar head, and the party attacks the little bastard, all the while making saving throws against something involving the terrifying boar head. Fortunately the PC’s make enough saves to not have… something happen to them, then Dur-Dur-Dur annihilates the skeleton and hacks the boar head off the wall. It crumbles into a pile of rotten meat.
🌱 digs through the gore, "These aren't choice though. These aren't edible."
"This is weird. These are weird things," Zanzibar says, looking at the weird shit written on the floor. "Is there any meaning to be gotten from these?"
"Looks like the ravings of a mad man." Valour says. "Also looks like 'I am 14 and this is very deep.'"
Maybe Omu was supposed to be called Emo?
The PC’s leave the room, taking the skeleton’s pentagon-shaped head with them. They check out the room that the skeleton fled out of earlier. Within is a four-columned portico jutting out from the far wall, a stone sarcophagus resting beneath it. Four ceramic frog masks hang in niches around the sarcophagus. Beneath the masks, humanoid bones are strewn across the floor. To the east, a large carving of a tentacled frog monster squats above a shrine. Offerings lie on a shelf before it. Four rectangular frescoes adorn the adjacent walls.
"I like the idea of these masks," 🌱 says.
"I don't like the idea of these masks," Obo’laka whispers from inside 🌱’s head.
"FINE!" 🌱 says, then pulls out some of his old masks and wears them on his hands.
"There's history in paintings," Moa tells Valour.
"Moa..." Valour groans. Why did he get the nerdy deity? Valour hates nerds!
"I hate froghemoths... So insipid, big green oafs." Papazotl mumbles to Zanzibar.
"I hate big green oafs too!" Zanzibar shouts.
"WHAT?" Dur-Dur-Dur says. He picks Zanzibar up in protest.
Zanzibar then detects magic and detects lots of magic shit. Like, death magic all over the place but unable to be seen.
"There's death magic in here, boys!" Zanzibar says.
The party then examines the paintings, noticing that they all depict a scene with Kubazan. The first one shows a frog monster helping the citizens while an old woman with a frog masks tosses five coins from her hands, as though sowing seeds. The second one shows a frog monster fighting a giant crocodile while an old man wearing a frog mask holds a bug up to his open mouth. The third shows a froghemoth helping Omuans find a small boy in the jungle while a young woman in a frog mask cuts the head off a chicken in the foreground. The final painting shows a froghemoth receiving offerings from Omuians, while an unknown character grasps a lit candle.
An altar at the center of the paintings depicts the following:
A six-inch-tall statuette of a froghemoth, which weighs five pounds and has an Old Omuan inscription that says, “GIVE THANKS TO ME AS OTHERS HAVE DONE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.”
A copper bowl containing rat bones.
Four dead cockroaches.
A green wax candle with a salvageable wick.
5gp in loose change.
"We have to recreate these paintings?" Zanzibar says.
"Number two has an old man, so that's you" Valour says, pointing at Zanzibar. "The first one is an old woman, and Nangnang is in your head, so that's you, Dur-Dur-Dur."
"Who has five coins?" 🌱 says, having just looted a beholder’s treasure stash. Though to fair, he looted everything except the actual treasure.
"Where are we going to get a chicken to cut a head off?" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"We got the owl. I can just get a new one," Zanzibar says.
"Well if there's bug-eatin' happening, I am down for that," 🌱 says.
Ever the adventurers and risktakers, the PC’s quickly get ready to reenact the paintings… by making Dragonbait do it first. They tell Dragonbait to wear a frog mask, which he does, and then grabs five coins and sprinkles them on the shrine.
"I'm older than Zanzibar. I'll eat the bug!" 🌱 says, then grabs a mask.
"Aaaaw maaan..." Obo’laka says.
🌱 eats the crunchy dry cockroach.
"Zanzibar, you're killing your owl," 🌱 says. "You didn't want to be the old man."
Zanzibar puts on his mask, and he slits the owl's throat on the altar. It would stare at him all sadlike, but it’s a magical conjuration and not a real animal, so it just bleeds out and poofs away. Zanzibar resummons his owl. The man's got owls for days.
Dur-Dur-Dur dons a mask and gets the green candle. He lights it like in that song from Rent, and the sarcophagus unlocks.
"Zanzibar do we think there is some kind of bad energy with these pillars?" Valour says.
"It's not there anymore!" Zanzibar says about the necrotic, undead energy. He no longer detects it.
Valour opens the sarcophagus lid, revealing a pair of bracers adorned with carvings of froghemoths. Twenty brittle arrows in a rotting quiver sit next to it. As Valour touches the bracers, they glow as a watery light ripples across the walls. A monstrous, tentacled shadow rises from the sarcophagus, and the air fills with the stench of a swamp. A rumbling voice echoes through the tomb: “You are brave to summon me. Together, we will crush the undying one!”
Kubazan’s spirit flies towards Valour, but he successfully resists the possession. The spirit then flies into Dragonbait, who also resists. The spirit bounces around, trying to get into Dur-Dur-Dur, but it finally slips into Zanzibar’s head. Papazotl and Kubazan fight among themselves, being mortal enemies, until Kubazan kicks Papazotl out of Zanzibar’s head. Needing a host, Papazotl hops to 🌱, kicking Obo’laka out.
"Awww maaaan..." Obo’laka says, having nobody else to possess, as he's pushed away and fades into nothingness.
All of 🌱 's attuned items fall off of him with a clatter.
But what’s this… Zanzibar’s Strength is now 23!? Zanzibar is SHREDDED!
"You need a weapon now so that you can hit people with it!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
They give him the Mace of Terror.
"We started this campaign with a sorcerer tank... that's all that I'm saying," Valour says, thinking of Soren.
The party takes a short rest so 🌱 can get all his shit back together.
Zanzibar identifies the bracers, revealing them as bracers of archery. Dragonbait has Artus Cimber’s bow, so he takes the bracers of archery and slips them over his hands.
"You mean this big frog 23 Strength dude had archery bracelets?" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"KUBAZAN DON'T CARE!" Kubazan shouts inside Zanzibar’s head.
"Yeah, Kubazan says he don't care!" Zanzibar shouts out loud, then flexes.
The party then realizes that they are done with this floor, and they return to the staircase, descending to the fourth floor. The stairs end here with four plinths. Each plinth has a large, four-armed gargoyle standing on it, and the plinths are rimmed with four different metals: copper, silver, gold, and platinum. A 10-foot square hole in the center of the gargoyles descends into the unknown.
"Those are types of moneys..." Zanzibar says, looking at the metal rims.
And of course, there’s one of those little Acererak warnings mounted on the wall:
DEATH TO FIRE, DINE OR DROWN,
PRECIOUS AIR, AND FALLING SAND.
THE ARMY SLEEPS IN SILENCE.
THE MIRROR HOLDS TWELVE.
FIND THE IRON SCEPTER'S TWIN.
THE MAZE HOLDS THE KEY.
"Those first two might go together because they have a comma separating them," Zanzibar says with his muscular grammar principles.
"Yes, that's called a sentence," Valour says.
Not wanting to screw with the gargoyles, the party heads west down a hallway. They come across some stairs with a treasure chest at the bottom of it. Expecting a trap, Zanzibar sends his owl forward to check out anything beyond the chest. It turns out that the stairs lead past the chest and into a massive room with twin staircases leading to an upper gallery. A large maze is carved into the wall of the upper gallery, and a crystal sarcophagus constantly changes colors in the center. The walls of this large room are covered in minotaur murals.
"Minotaur murals!?" 🌱 stays, stepping forth.
As 🌱 steps forward, a stone ball descends from the ceiling behind him and rolls down the stairs. 🌱 uses his wildshape to turn into a giant bat and flies out of the way. The ball smashes through the treasure chest and rolls into the room, causing a section of the floor at the base of the stairs to collapse and reveal a pit of sizzling acid.
That could have been really bad! Like 12d10 acid damage bad!
Dur-Dur-Dur examines broken chest, finding nothing. "There's nothing in here!"
Everyone hops over the acid pit.
"Something about this chest is special!" Zanzibar says, looking at it. "It's not just a box!"
"It was a trap," Valour says. "Tempting you to go to it so you can fall into an acid hole."
Moa points out the color pattern on the sarcophagus for Valour, who is now starting to equate his jaculi Trickster God with something more akin to that paperclip thing from Microsoft Office.
"Also there's an invisible key," Kubazan says as Zanzibar casts detect magic on the chest’s splinters.
Zanzibar is elated, and he picks up the invisible key, placing it into his visible pocket.
Nangnang and Dur-Dur-Dur talk about how they know what they know.
🌱 as a bat goes check to check out the maze on the wall. "This maze is your domain! Let no others have it!" Papazotl tells him from in his head.
Zanzibar wants to examine the maze as well, so he leaps up to it with his mighty strength. He can’t decipher an entrance or an exit on the maze. "This is bullshit, you can't have a maze with no entrances! It's just a pattern."
"The maze holds the key, so let's make the maze ‘hold the key!’" Valour says.
Zanzibar puts the key towards the maze, but as he touches it, he’s sucked into the maze! Zanzibar shrinks down to a miniscule size and finds himself standing in a series of corridors, clouded by fog and lit with faint torches. He looks up and realizes that the sky is a side-view of the room his friends are in. Everyone else around the maze squints, seeing Zanzibar’s tiny little (but quite muscular) form standing sideways in the maze before them!
"We have an invisible key?" Dur-Dur-Dur says "Why didn't you use it on the sarcophagus?"
Right when Zanzibar begins to catch his bearings, the walls with the minotaur murals lower into the floor with a dull grind, revealing several alcoves with piles of bones. The bones knit themselves together and stand upright! Ten skeletal minotaurs wield massive axes, and they charge forth.
Dragonbait utilizes I’jin’s Dexterity powers as well as the bracers of archery and blasts a from afar. Dur-Dur-Dur stands in the center of the room as the skeletons charge him, but Zanzibar sees his friends’ peril and launches a fireball from the maze, which embiggens as it leaves the maze and detonates over half of the skeletons, scorching them terribly.
"I'm helping!" Zanzibar shouts.
A minotaur runs up and smacks 🌱 as a bat while a second one tumbles into the acid pit and melts into a pile of bone soup. Valour unsheathes the Holy Avenger and cleaves into one of the skeletons while 🌱 casts thunderwave on two skeletons scrawling at him from below, knocking one of them back.
In the center, Dur-Dur-Dur is getting clobbered by minotaur horns and axes, all the while he does his best to hack away at the encroaching behemoths.
"Any day now guys!" he shouts.
A minotaur stomps up the stairs and slashes Valour, dropping him down to 4 Hit Points.
"Zanzibar just target me!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts "Use fireball!"
Zanzibar realizes that he can’t use fireball, so he takes out the rod of wonders, shakes it a bit, then rolls the dice and casts fireball! Two minotaurs crumble to ash.
Valour stands up and holds the Holy Avenger high, then casts turn the unholy, which breaks the minotaurs’ resolve and causes them to flee. With their unity shattered, Dur-Dur-Dur goes on the offensive, downing several minotaurs with mighty swings of his Durminator.
"All me, baby!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
"All us, buddy!" Nangnang says.
"All me, baby!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
Zanzibar frantically runs through the maze, knowing that he has to find something in here, but all he finds are more twisting corridors. Valour casts lay on hands on himself for 20.
Valour kills a skeleton. "You're next!" he shouts.
Dragonbait cuts Flametongue down the center of a skeleton, charring it.
Dur-Dur-Dur charges a skeleton cowering in an alcove and slaughters it, revealing a tunnel leading out of its alcove.
Zanzibar keeps running into the maze and bumps right into a minotaur skeleton! He shouts for help, but nobody can hear him. Valour goes to the secret hall and snoops around a bit.
Dragonbait also goes to investigate the hallway, unable to hear Zanzibar’s pleas. Zanzibar then casts Tasha’s mind whip on the minotaur, causing it to take 9 psychic damage. He then puts some distance between himself and the minotaur.
Fortunately for the wizard, 🌱 hangs around for a bit at the top of the stairs and notices the commotion within the maze. He watches the minotaur skeleton stomp menacingly up to Zanzibar. The wizard is in trouble!
Valour follows the hallway, eventually finding a bare room with a wooden cabinet. The cabinet is slender and has a dial at the top set with two ornate, metal spokes. Beneath the dial, a pendulum swings inside an open compartment. An egg-shaped stone adorns the pendulum’s tip.
Valour thinks about Acererak’s nerdy shit. "’The mirror holds twelve,’ could refer to numbers on a clock... ‘Falling sand’ could be an hourglass. Moa, what's this?"
Moa thinks for a minute. "Something is invisible.”
"Oh yeah!" Valour says, then goes invisible himself.
Dragonbait takes up a defensive position so he can dash anywhere to anyone who needs help… just in case.
Speaking of people who need help, Zanzibar uses shocking grasp on the minotaur and runs away. As he does so, 🌱 uses chill touch on the minotaur to stall it.
"What is wrong with us Zanzibar!?" 🌱 says, once again baffled that he and Zanzibar are stuck doing some kind of nonsense.
The minotaur backs up and charges, so Zanzibar uses an attack of opportunity to shank it with his t-rex dagger. The minotaur then collides into Zanzibar, who tries to cast shield but has already used his reaction for shanking. He falls to the ground.
Chumbawumba then enters the room, having gotten lost somewhere between this current fight he didn’t participate in and the last fight that he also didn’t participate in. He sees the mess in front of him.
"Dur-Dur-Dur, come help me grope!" Valour says as he’s searching the clock room.
"Who said that?" Dur-Dur-Dur says, going into the clock room and groping around.
"GIT UP BOI!" Kubazan says to Zanzibar, trying to get him to grab his life by the horns.
Zanzibar holds up the Ring of Winter, "It's your time to shine!" He expends some charges and summons bigby’s giant hand, then forcefully pushes the skeletal minotaur 30 feet away from him.
🌱thorn whips the minotaur, hitting it for some damage, but as he tries to pull it out of the maze, he instead is pulled into it! He lands in a random spot, surrounded by fog and lowlit torches. “Why do casters always do this!?" he shouts.
The minotaur charges Zanzibar and swings with its greataxe for 15 damage, but Zanzibar casts shield to block the attack.
Dragonbait notices 🌱 get sucked into the maze, so he steps up and sees Zanzibar fighting the minotaur. The saurian shoots at the minotaur in the maze with his longbow, his arrows shrinking as they pass the maze’s threshold. He hits two of the three shots.
"Valour, is that you?" Dur-Dur-Dur says, detecting an invisible presence.
"It is!" Valour says.
"Okay, I almost killed you!"
"Or is it..." Valour says.
Dur-Dur-Dur then runs out of the room in fear.
Zanzibar uses the forceful hand to push the minotaur away again. He stands up with half movement, then backs 15 feet away and casts ray of frost to kite the monster.
🌱 gets up, dusts himself off, walks around a corner, and finds a red key on the ground. Right when he picks it up, both he and Zanzibar are flung from the maze and back into the tomb. They stand there, flabbergasted.
"How come when it's me and you, I'm the one who saves us?” 🌱 says. “I killed Xandala. I killed the mummy. And I got us out of the maze."
"I made Xandala look at colors!" Zanzibar argues.
"I made apes!" 🌱 says.
"We were digging through treasure," Zanzibar says.
"Zanzibar, where have you been? We've been in so much trouble!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.
The casters look at the red key. Zanzibar goes to cast identify on it.
"I think I'M gonna use identify!" 🌱 says, holding the key to himself.
Zanzibar looks back in the maze sees the tiny minotaur, which he punches into oblivion with his tiny Bigby hand that’s still in there.
🌱 notices that the key’s color matches the flashing color of the sarcophagus. If he waits for the sarcophagus to be red, then the key might work in it.
"Yes! Bask in the glory! You showed them how to win!" Papazotl says to 🌱.
The druid/goat/thing plunges the red key into the red sarcophagus, then turns it. The lid lifts off and 🌱feels like he has been given a small boon: the charm of the ghoul, which allows him to use an action to eat a mouthful of flesh from a humanoid that has been dead no longer than 1 day. When he does, he regains 3d8+3 HP. Once used three times, the charm goes away.
"Zanzibar I think I agree with you, people do taste better," 🌱 says.
Inside the sarcophagus, there is a lining of salt. Within the salt are ten opalescent bracelets worth 75 gp each made from the shell of a flail snail. There is also a bright robe of scintillating colors.
🌱 grabs the robe, and slime pours from the folds of it to take the form of multiple flail-like pseudopods. A female voice echoes throughout the chamber: “I can help you. At least, I think that’s what I’m supposed to do.”
Unkh’s spirit lunges into 🌱, but as much as he wants the flail snail spirit in his head, Papazotl kicks the indecisive cretin out. Dragonbait dodges Unkh’s spirit as well, then it finds Chumbawumba and climbs into his head.
Chumbawumba realizes he now has a Constitution score of 23, but his decision-making abilities leave a lot to be desired.
"Can we trade!?" 🌱 shouts.
"Try running at each other really fast!" Valour says.