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BQ-38: Into Annihilation

Updated: Nov 27, 2020

The party decides to take a long rest to sleep off all the heebie jeebies they just experienced. So Zanzibar casts Leomund’s tiny hut, and everyone crawls underneath it in a big ol’ snuggle pile, which is smelly, so 🌱 casts druidcraft to make everything smell not so terrible.

And while they snooze, they decide to have a good ol’ fashioned round of pillow talk since they are technically each others' pillows.

"Hey Orvex, uh, Oreo… Orzhov? Where is the Tomb of the Nine Gods?" 🌱 says.

Orvex presses his face against the glassy wall of the hut, "To the nooorth!"

"Why are you like this, Old Man?" Valour says.

"Yeah, no wonder the wizards left you." Dur-Dur-Dur says.

"Just tell us why you are like this!" Zanzibar says.

"Can you just answer questions normally?" Valour shouts.

At this point, the party then delves into senseless arguing within the tiny hut. Their big debate points are about how Orvex is weird and whether or not they want to go to his stupid tomb or back to the snake place to XP farm.

"Do you want to go to the tomb or go into the snake pit to get a noble?" 🌱 says.

"Well isn't Zanzibar a noble?" Valour says.

"You're a noble?" Ezekiel says, aghast.

"Yeah, you didn't meet my parents," Zanzibar says.

"Yeah that's back when our party members received gifts and shit in them," Valour says.

"We're not taking everyone with us to the tomb, are we?" Dur-Dur-Dur says, looking at sweet, poor, old, adorable Dur-Dur.

"Well the last time we left people behind, Dur-Dur got kidnapped by yuan-ti," Zanzibar says.

"We'll put him in the cart with Quest," Dur-Dur-Dur says.

The party then decides they need to go ahead and divvy up items and such. Just in case, I don’t know, someone inexplicably dies and is carrying all the important stuff. Best to keep things separated! Don’t put all your eggs in one Zanzibar—I mean, basket!

🌱 gives two goodberries to the PC's and none to the NPC's.

Dur-Dur looks at the goodberries in Dur-Dur-Dur’s hand.

"Those are delicious, Daddy. Eat them and you'll be nourished for a day." Dur-Dur-Dur tells his sad, old, damn-near dead father.

Dur-Dur eats it. "Can I have some more?"

Valour gives Dur-Dur his goodberries.

"Those are quite good! I'm quenched!" Dur-Dur says. "Though if more appear, I won't say no."

"Do you like mayonnaise?" Valour says.

Dur-Dur’s eyes widen.

"We might need it though!" 🌱 says. Eating half the goodberries while at full health is no cause for alarm, but the magic mayonnaise jar? That's off limits!

"In the dungeon?" Valour says.

"Tomb of Annihilation wouldn't have given us a mayonnaise tool if there wasn't a mayonnaise puzzle!" 🌱 says.

"Mayonnaise shaped key? Must be a mayonnaise shaped keyhole," Valour deduces.

It is now midnight.

"How long does that frost stuff last?" 🌱 says to Artus Cimber, referring to his use of Ring of Winter to freeze the shrine.

"Until I tell it to stop," Artus Cimber says. He's so cool. Get it?

"If we kill the Soulmonger, that may stop the problem down there with Dendar, right?" 🌱 says.

"There was a teleporter that Ras Nsi had. That may lead to the Soulmonger," Valour says.

"Fuck it, let's just do the tomb!" Ezekiel, the guy who wants to fuck it, says.

The party loads up and follows Orvex’s directions to the northern side of Omu, where he says the Tomb of the Nine Gods is. Time wise, it’s only a little after midnight, and a light rain blankets the Omuan ruins. The only sound is that of Zanzibar, who is repeatedly shouting to Valour, "Hah hah! I told you that the gods are dead!" which is probably a phrase that paladins don't like to hear that much, but Zanzibar is old and can't hear anything now.

Valour whispers to Dur-Dur-Dur’s hair, "Sikkukurut, how do you feel about Dendar?"

"Mmmmm, no!" Sikkururut pops his head out, then returns to hiding.

The party arrives, and standing before them is a large obelisk covered in moss. Two hallways are carved into the nearby cliffside, but right now, 🌱 wants to get him some of that obelisk moss! Ain’t no moss like obelisk moss!

As 🌱 scrapes away some of the moss, he sees that the obelisk has a warning carved on it:

Fear the night when the forsaken one seizes death's mantle and the seas dry up and the dead rise and I, Acererak the Eternal, reap the world of the living. Those who dare enter take heed:

The enemies oppose.

One stands between them.

In darkness, it hides.

Don the mask or be seen.

Speak no truth to the doomed child.

The keys turn on the inside only.

🌱 takes out every single mask he has and can’t decide which one he wants to wear. Is this a bat mask problem? An ant mask? The seahorse mask could work as well! Oh, there's the monkey too! Then there's that weird death one that Dur-Dur-Dur found. Which mask does he wear while trying to stop the global pandemic!?

"What a nerd!" Valour says about the writing.

Zanzibar ponders about Acererak. He's been thinking a lot about liches lately for no reason in particular. He remembers seeing a skull that mentioned the name "Acererak" when he was galavanting through the t-rex disaster. He also knows that Acererak is an extremely powerful lich, and that becoming an extremely powerful lich is a good way to prevent elder spellcasters from dying of old age. He also met another lich back at the Heart of Pretzelcoatl. It's like the universe is trying to tell him something!

As he ponders, the party realizes they have another problem: Where do they put their Dur-Dur?

"Daddy, do you want to go into the tomb?" Dur-Dur-Dur says, which sounds like something you say to your father when you're getting really tired of his shit.

"Well... is there a safe place for me?” Dur-Dur says.

The PC's debate the issue for a bit, but Dur-Dur-Dur peeks down a hallway and sees little alcoves cut into the side of the hall. He starts to venture forth. Valour ties a rope around Dur-Dur-Dur as though he’s bait—I mean, in case he needs to make a quick escape.

Dur-Dur-Dur realizes that the alcoves each have one of the Nine Trickster Gods set up as a statue with a basin of oil at their base. Each Trickster God is set up across from another, and Nangnang’s and Wongo’s oil basins are both burning! But wait a minute, one of the Trickster Gods isn’t there…

"Nangnang is still alive! That's what that means!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts.

Dur-Dur-Dur is wrong.

🌱 steps into the hallway to cast some druidcraft, and when he does, Dur-Dur-Dur notices the wall at the end of the hallway glowing.

Zanzibar sees these strange things and tests a theory. He makes sure that he’s carrying Papazotl’s cube when he steps into the hallway, and sure enough, Papazotl's oil basin lights up. The PC’s then exchange puzzle cubes until they’re all accounted for.

They realize then that Unkh has no statue set up, even though 🌱 is possessing her cube.

The PC’s eyeball the glowing wall.

“Dur-Dur-Dur, I think it’s time to smash a wall,” Valour said.

Dur-Dur-Dur smashes the wall. If he had a trophy room of all the walls he's destroyed so far, he'd have a house!

On the other side of the wall is Unkh’s statue, her oil basin flaming. Hanging from Unkh is a golden pendant shaped like an eye, which Dur-Dur-Dur picks up with a javelin.

“Identify this!" Dur-Dur-Dur says, throwing the pendant to Zanzibar.

"Ah! Don't do that!" Zanzibar says, catching the pendant and stepping outside with it.

Zanzibar identifies the necklace by waving his crystal ball around it, and he detects that it has divine properties. And you know what wizards like Zanzibar say, "Divine properties equals divine property!" Zanzibar puts the pendant on, then panics as the pendant goes erect and drags his decrepit cyborg body across the ground. Dur-Dur-Dur tosses a rope around Zanzibar’s foot, stretching him out as he is dragged across the grass towards a pile of brambles.

The old wizard stops in front of the brambles, which turns out to be a pile of shrubbery covering a secret entrance! The pendant then goes limp, and Zanzibar removes it before it chokes him or takes him on any other adventures.

“What does that warning from Acererak say again? 'The enemies oppose, one stands between them. In darkness it hides,'" which sounds like the hallway of opposed Trickster Gods to Zanzibar.

"Yeah there was a secret one. In darkness, it hides," Valour says.

"We should probably remember which ones were opposed to each other in the hallway," Zanzibar says.

Orvex instantly stands up recites the tale of why the Trickster Gods hate each other, and everyone pretends to be interested. When he finishes, he bows, but basically the party realizes that the following deities got beef with each other:

I’jin the almiraj put some shit in Obo’laka the zorbo's pot, which totally ruined Obo'laka's catering party for Pretzelcoatl, so those deities don't get along well with each other. But wait! So this kamadan named Shagambi tried to make the people of Omu better by stabbing them with a spear, but Nangnang the grung straight snatched that spear and ran off with it, so Shagambi wants Nangnang's ass for taking her spear. So while that's all happening, this eblis bird named Papazotl is doing his thing and just wants to punk all the Omuans, but Pretzelcoatl took a frog and plugged some extra arms and eyes and shit into it because "LuLz I r god this is Chult platypus!" and he sent that frog, Kubazan, back at the eblis to trick it instead and those bastards straight threw hands. With all that going on, a su-monster named Wongo snatched some water from Pretzelcoatl and was like "Yo, Moa the jaculi, I'm keeping this water in your burrow k thx," and when Pretzelcoatl was like "H2-Oh no! Where's the water?" Moa straight snitched on Wongo, so Wongo's ready to pop a cap in Moa's ass. Oh, then Unkh the flail snail showed up but she's fat and ugly so she's never invited to the party or the fights.

The party takes note of who hates each other, then sends Dragonbait into the hidden entrance first. He comes up to a door with nine cube-shaped holes arranged in a 3 x 3 pattern.

The party takes note of their clues, specifically “One stands between them.” They put Unkh’s puzzle cube in the center, then arrange the other puzzle cubes so that they are completely opposite one another with Unkh in the middle.


The slab door slides out of the way, and the nine puzzle cubes all vanish magically! All that time spent collecting shapes only to see them poof away! I wonder where they're going?

Another hallway sits before them, this one with another door on the end, as many hallways tend to be, but the door has a lever sticking out of it, as many doors tend to not.

“This might be a good place to leave my dad," Dur-Dur-Dur says.

"There's bones here!" Dur-Dur says.

Dur-Dur-Dur steps towards the lever, and before he’s halfway across the room, a stone skull in the ceiling opens up, revealing a crystal hourglass that starts ticking down. Dur-Dur-Dur has ten seconds before it ticks out!

Will he pull the lever?

The party panics!

They shout!

They scream!

They're losing time!

“Dragonbait go pull the lever!” Dur-Dur-Dur shouts.

Dragonbait steps forward, but Ezekiel grabs him and pulls him back. The hourglass is almost done!


Since nobody pulls the lever by the time the timer reaches zero, the hourglass retracts into the ceiling, and the door ahead opens up! Hooray! All you had to do was absolutely nothing, like Unkh! Or Lilac!

The door reveals a moss-covered corridor extending beyond. Tree roots hang from the sagging ceiling, and the air reeks of rot and dampness. Ahead, a bas-relief carving of a bearded devil’s face adorns the wall, its mouth agape and full of utter darkness—the symbol of Guga! Exactly as they had seen it in the temple beneath Kinchasa!

"Ezekiel and 🌱, I think this is your room because... moss and demon skulls!" Zanzibar says.

Ezekiel looks for gaps in the walls and holes in the walls and pressure plates. He then realizes that there are some tiles that are a little off-kilter. Not wanting to die like Argus, Ezekiel goes out and picks up some heavy rocks, then drops them onto the tiles, which causes darts to shoot out of holes in the walls.

"Father taught me that one!" Ezekiel says.

"Your father taught you that?" Valour says.

Ezekiel hopscotches around the tiles, placing rocks on the trapped squares and keeping the pressure plates down. Valour hangs out near him to inspire his saving throws just in case something terrible happens. The close, proximity presence of a paladin is very beneficial for Ezekiel… if only Valour would stand closer.

"Where do you want me to go?" Dur-Dur says, looking for a safe place to hide.

"He can hide in that hole!" Dur-Dur-Dur says, pointing at the face of Guga with the mouth that opens into impenetrable darkness of an unfathomable fate within the tomb that is designed to murder people as efficiently as possible.

Dur-Dur is probably wishing he were back in the t-rex again.

They debate what the deal is with the Guga face since it’s probably kind of spooky and they probably want nothing to do with it.

"Go look at it, archaeologist!" Valour says to Orvex. "Put your hand in there."

Orvex steps up to the peculiar relic, not recognizing it as any deity of Omu. He puts his hand close to the darkness, but then a shape grabs him and pulls him into the darkness up to his shoulder! He pulls back, revealing his arm has been ripped clean out of its socket, and Orvex the archaeologist and lover of all things ancient in Omu falls to the ground dead from extreme blood loss.

"He's spent his whole life waiting to get here, and he dies in the first five minutes!" Valour says.

"You're the worst paladin ever!" Zanzibar says.

🌱 uses his reaction to cast fungal infestation, bringing Orvex back as a zombie. Not so bad! Orvex can now be a zombie in the tomb he loves so much!

"Tell him to put his other hand in!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.

"We already know what that does! We need to use him for other traps!" 🌱 says.

They then head east and find a massive stone stairwell that leads down to several other floors. Valour catches sight of a hunched figure glaring up at him from the balcony below, wearing a mask that is a replica of Guga’s face at the entrance. Without saying a word, the creature silently shambles out of sight.

Valour rushes down the stairs, looking for the creature, but passes by a hallway that leads to a haunting room with cracked floors and a massive, green statue face of Guga in the center. Nope! Nope! Keep walking.

Further around the balcony, Valour comes across a brass plaque with another of Acererak’s warnings scrawled across it:

The ring is a path to another tomb

The dead abhor sunlight

Only a jewel can tame the frog

Bow as the dead god intoned

Into darkness descend

Oh look, even more nope!

Valour decides to peek down one little corridor before heading back up to his teammates, and before him lies a curious oddity. At a four way intersection, corridors facing north and south curve upward and out of sight, but with no rails or steps to allow them to be climbed. The corpse of a half-human, half-goat creature in robes sprawls ten feet to the north, just at the arch of the floor. It grips a staff tipped with a bronze goat’s head.

Goat people now!?

🌱 and zombie-Orvex come down stairs to help examine this happenstance… from a distance. 🌱 sends the zombie to pick up the goat staff, and as the zombie steps up, they notice that the curve of the floor doesn’t cause it to fall—as though gravity is keeping it attached.

Needless to say, they all book it the hell out of there and run back to the upper floor to rejoin the rest of their party.

Zanzibar takes time to wave his crystal ball around the quarterstaff with the goat head on it, casting identify and revealing that it’s a staff of striking. 🌱 is more than happy to keep the staff, finally getting an upgrade to the weapon he has carried since day one of their adventure.

New Stick Day is a druid's greatest day! And this one fell on New Zombie Day!

The party then explores more of the tomb, finding a hallway that ends with a giant stone skull carved into the wall. A flame flickers within each of the skull’s eye sockets, and its open mouth reveals the room beyond.

🌱 tells the Orvex zombie to step through the skull’s mouth and into the other room because ain't nobody doing dangerous shit when one of them is already dead. The zombie steps inside, and one of the flames in the skull’s eyes snuffs out.

"Maybe going back through from the other side will relight the flame?" Valour says.

The Orvex zombie steps through the mouth again, and the second flame snuffs out.

With one great big shrug from the party, 🌱 decides to see what happens if he sends the zombie through when the fires are absent. He zombie steps through, and the mouth slams shut, snapping zombie Orvex in half and killing him again. The fires pop back into place in the skull’s eye sockets.

Orvex and mouths just don’t get along well.

"So one person can go back in and come back out safely?" Valour says.

Dur-Dur-Dur then steps through the open mouth, causing one of the flames to flicker out. He gets a good look at the room. As he steps in, a dancing skeleton person springs up and down, then disappears into a series of crawlspaces honeycombed into the walls. Totally normal tomb stuff. The big orc sees that a sarcophagus is sitting in the center of the room, adorned with a coiled serpent carved into the lid. Behind the sarcophagus, resting atop a marble pedestal, is an ornate crystal box with a small humanoid skull floating inside it.

A disembodied voice speaks, as though coming from the floating skull. "What's happening? Why can't I see?" It sounds like a scared, little girl.

Dur-Dur-Dur gets ready to speak, but Valour shouts Acererak’s warning before the orc can open his mouth, “Speak no truth to the doomed child!”

Not wanting the orc to ruin anything, Ezekiel leaps through the open mouth, causing the last flame to flicker out. All right! Dur-Dur-Dur is once again in a scary room with a character who used to be Argus. Surely this can't lead to mayhem!

“The light’s aren’t working,” Ezekiel lies to the skull.

The skull panics a bit, and the child’s voice grows more worried, “Are you friends of my father? Is he looking for me?”

"Yes, your father sent me," Ezekiel says.

"And Grandmother Napaka?" the girl says.

Dur-Dur-Dur recalls old legends about Napaka. She was, according to rumor, the last queen of Omu.

"Why can't I see anything?" the girl says.

"It's very dark in here," Ezekiel says.

The mood pervading the severed skull grows more relaxed. "Are the subjects finally well?" her quivering voice speaks.

"Yes,” Ezekiel says.

"I bet this is Unkh's doing. She is the confused one," the child giggles.

"It could very well be, child, what makes you think that?" Ezekiel says.

"Unkh was always indecisive. She hated confrontation. She preferred staying out of people's business. Not like Moa,” a forlorn aura fills the room. “Moa was different. But I can't... I can’t remember… tell me about Moa."

"Tell you about Moa?” Ezekiel says, stuttering. “Oh, um… How he's doing? Or..."


"Moa was on vacation!” Dur-Dur-Dur interrupts. “He was just going around, seeing all his family members!

Anxiety begins to rattle from the skull. "No, Moa lives here!"

"What he meant,” Ezekiel says, shushing Dur-Dur-Dur. “Moa is strolling around the facilities and having a grand ol’ time. We are on vacation.” Ezekiel puts an arm around Dur-Dur-Dur. “Moa was kind enough to greet us and say 'hi.' He's a very nice fellow. We are on vacation though. That's what my big, green, violent friend was trying to get at!”

The skull grows calm and serene. "Well then, I hope you enjoy your stay in Omu!"

Childish laughter fills the air, and the little girl’s skull within the crystal box fades away.

"I did it guys, don't worry!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts through the stone mouth.

"Did you guys get that skull for me?" 🌱 says.

"It's not here!" Dur-Dur-Dur says. "There's probably something in this coffin though."

"WAIT!" Ezekiel says.

Just as Dur-Dur-Dur is about to open the sarcophagus, the bouncing skeleton-person dashes out of one of the holes in the walls and tries to cross the room.

"Hey Mr. Skull!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts. “WAIT!”

He then smashes the skeleton with his axe, and its head lands on the ground in front of him. Strangely enough, the skeleton’s head has a triangular-shaped device protruding out of it. Dur-Dur-Dur shrugs, pockets the head, then turns to Ezekiel. "Do you want to open this coffin, Ezekiel, and get another skeleton head?"

"I dunno..." Ezekiel says.

"OKAY I GOT IT!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts, then pries the lid off.

Within the sarcophagus are the snake-like bones of a jaculi sitting atop a bundle of faded cloth. A serpent-shaped staff lies inside with it. Ezekiel picks up the staff, but green smoke billows from the item, coiling around him like a serpent. A sibilant voice whispers in his ear, "Let me help you. I promise I'll be good!"

"You belong to me..." another voice rattles in Ezekiel’s head. "Nobody else."

Ezekiel’s patron pushes the spirit away, and it flies into Dur-Dur-Dur’s head. Dur-Dur-Dur has an odd look about his face, as though he’s been possessed by an ancient deity with a domain build upon truth and sincerity.

But no couches. Jaculis don't need no couches.


"Dur-Dur-Dur, do you like this affliction?" Valour says through the STONE mouth.

"I don't know. Can you see me? Poof!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts, then pretends to be invisible. Nothing really happens. Before anyone can do anything, Dur-Dur-Dur grabs the snake staff, actually turns invisible, and steps through the skull’s mouth. The mouth doesn’t close on him.

"Hey Ezekiel, if you come through here, you probably die!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts.

"Oh god..." Ezekiel says, realizing he’s trapped in here.

"I only speak the truth!" Dur-Dur-Dur says.

Before Ezekiel can panic, Artus Cimber unsheathes Bookmark and uses dimension door to transport Ezekiel out through the stone skull, finally reunited with everyone else. Dur-Dur-Dur hands the snake staff over to Zanzibar, who identifies it as a staff of the python, which they give to Ezekiel.

The party is now aware that the Trickster Gods are dwelling within this tomb for sure, and they have the ability to possess others. Duly noted! They creep around the first floor some more, eventually finding a hallway with an adamantium fan blade crossing it. They approach the blade, but their footsteps activate a pressure plate that causes the fan to start whirring!

Valour tries to dive through the fan, but he gets chopped up like a real unlucky sumbitch, taking 6d10 slashing damage from the blades. Dur-Dur-Dur dives through as well, gracefully avoiding the blades as though guided by the grace of a jaculi deity.

He then goes invisible.

The orc and the half-elf look around, seeing that they are in a room with three large chests: one is made of black obsidian, the second is made of rusty metal, and the third is silver with flecks of frost. The center of the room holds a sarcophagus with an image of a su-monster emblazoned on its lid: Wongo.

Valour recalls Acererak's warning, “The keys turn on the inside only,” as well as the fact that Wongo is described as “selfish and cruel.”

Valour drinks some healing potions because he doesn’t need a circlet of intellect to tell him that’s a smart idea. Also, Dur-Dur-Dur may start some shit.

Valour confirms the warning by opening the three chests, revealing that the chests each have a golden key attached to the bottom of their lid. Valour climbs into the silver, frosty chest and closes the lid. He then turns the key from inside the chest.

Outside, Dur-Dur-Dur sees a silver button magically appear on the sarcophagus.

"I need two more volunteers to go into my magic trick!" Dur-Dur-Dur shouts down the hall with the propeller. By now, the propeller has slowed down and isn’t moving anymore.

"Dragonbait, how are you? Come hither!" Ezekiel gestures to Dragonbait. “Artus can dimension door you two to the other side.”

"I can't do that again until next dawn!" Artus says, waving his magic dagger.

“I can use thunder step to get across without triggering the propeller,” Ezekiel says.

"Do you want me to push the button?" Dur-Dur-Dur says.

"No!" Valour shouts from inside the chest. He twists the key, unlocking the chest and allowing himself to get out. When he unlocks the chest, the silver button disappears from the sarcophagus.

Zanzibar joins Ezekiel, telling him that he can use misty step to get to the other side with him.

“Zanzibar, do you want to go first so I don't boom you?" Ezekiel says.

"No, I want you to go first so I don't get boomed when I get in there!" Zanzibar says.

"No, I'll boom on THIS side!" Ezekiel says.

"Then yes!" Zanzibar says.

"What do you mean ‘boom!?’" Valour shouts from down the hall.

"Like this!" Zanzibar says, misty stepping past the propeller and into Wongo’s tomb.

"No, this!" Ezekiel says, casting thunder step, which sends a raucous BOOM of thunder from where he was just standing as Ezekiel teleports forward, reappearing on the other side of the propeller. He could have taken Zanzibar with him during the thunder step, but Zanzibar doesn't need those spell slots anyways!

"Pick one of these, get inside, and you're going to turn a key when the door closes," Valour says to the two new arrivals, gesturing at the chests.

Meanwhile, where it’s safe, 🌱 sits and watches, waving his brand new stick in the air. Everything is good in 🌱 world right now!

Everyone else’s world is about to get fucked up.

After a great deal of bickering, the party comes to a conclusion: Dur-Dur-Dur turns invisible and snatches up Zanzibar, chucking his squirming body into the frosty chest. Dur-Dur-Dur then crawls into the black onyx chest. Finally, Valour crawls into the rusty chest since it’s in the center and lets his aura affect everyone. Zanzibar complains through all of this.

Ezekiel stands near the sarcophagus, waiting for them to turn the keys.

"Wait,” Zanzibar says. “Can I get my familiar to do this instead?"

"No! We're past that by now!" Dur-Dur-Dur says. "Now turn the key."

The PC’s turn all three keys, and three buttons appear on the sarcophagus next to Ezekiel.

"All right gentlemen, it's your choice,” Ezekiel says. “Do I press all three, two, or one at a time?"

Before they can answer, Ezekiel slaps all three with one arm, then draws his halberd.

Cold frost shoots out from Zanzibar’s chest, and the wizard portents a successful Constitution saving throw, making him take only half of 48 cold damage. He still hates Dur-Dur-Dur. A cloud of rust poofs out of Valour’s chest, and magical energy completely dissolves any non-magical metal inside his chest, turning it to rust. His armor pours off of him, leaving him almost defenseless. Dur-Dur-Dur succeeds on his Constitution saving throw, which was great, because failing it meant taking 10d6+40 force damage straight in the face.

The three PC’s leap from their chests, Valour and Zanzibar in a panic after what happened to them. They all look to Ezekiel, who is now standing next to a sarcophagus with a clear, brittle, glass case. Inside is a dead su-monster clutching a terrifying mace.

Dur-Dur-Dur breaks the crystal container, and the dead su-monster leaps to its feet, mace in hand. Fortunately, Dur-Dur-Dur and Zanzibar combine one-part Durminator with equal-parts magic missile, dropping the zombified su-monster before it can act.

"All me, baby!" Zanzibar shouts.

The zombie collapses to the ground, and red smoke seethes from the head of its mace, forming the outline of a monkey with a long tail. With a chattering roar, the smoky apparition leaps at Dur-Dur-Dur, screaming “Let me in!”

The Trickster God Wongo drives the Trickster God Moa out of Dur-Dur-Dur’s head, replacing the truthful and kind deity with one that is violent and deranged. Just the perfect deity to possess the party’s instigating orc barbarian!

I'm sure this will make the dungeon crawl even safer

Moa’s spirit panics, flying around the room, then barrels into Valour, possessing his mind.

Zanzibar picks up the mace, identifying it as being a mace of terror.

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